So this blogger thing on Saturday--
OBVIOUSLY we have to go to it dressed as strippers!!!
Duh!!!
E-strippers!!!

If I knew where to get pasties, I would put them on, though I admit I am a bit of a chicken and these G-cups don't go out without a bra, so I'd paste them over my bra.
I have a nice satin bra... maybe I'll wear a corset too... I have a lace miniskirt petticoat... and back-seam nylons... or patterned fishnets...

Except...
Except except. I have so many blogging accounts... and i think I may be obligated, much as I hate this, to go as a rollergirl from Myspace, because the rollergirls are starting up their new season and we need the publicity.

Augh! What a dilemma.
(I won't be going as Livejournal, i promise you that.)

And I don't want to associate my Myspace blog (which gets a lot of trolls, particularly as I alienated half the Canadian roller derby association when I pointed out that the Hamilton league was a bunch of asshats) with this blog, because, well, this blog is pretty much the only thing I have that doesn't get Roller Derby Drama on it. (Though if I really cared about that, I should be smart and get the damn brass knuckles out of my user picture. Duh.)

Ay. Part of what makes this community work is that it's just at a crucial size tipping-point, in that it's large enough for stuff to always be going on, but small enough that it's still kinda arguably private.

Not that I ever update here, but that's more down to me not updating anywhere lately. (Myspace was updated in July and then I think I wrote one thing last month. Maybe.)

Chita is fuzzy and cute, by the way, and Z's iPhone is non-fuzzy and cute. How funny. I'll upload pictures, I promise.

But what should I do?
If anyone will come with me as an e:stripper I'll totally do it. (I was thinking I'd attach one of the e:strip bumper stickers to my ass somehow. Or maybe my chest. More people look at my chest. Magnets in my bra! Magnetic pasties! That would be sheer brilliance. I need someone good with physics to do this for me.)

Agh, but I think I need to go as a rollergirl.
What to do....
what to do...

I tried to leave this as a comment on allthingsjennifer but I guess she doesn't want to hear it, as when I clicked "post" it just disappeared. e:zobar said his got moderated, but I didn't even get that notification. So I guess she doesn't think we're funny, or whatever.
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I would've thought the old stereotype about bloggers/computer geeks being pathologically averse to real-life human contact was outdated, but either no other Buffalo Bloggers besides e:strip and Punaro could actually be pried away from their computers long enough to leave the house, or the prospect of speaking to strangers overwhelmed all the other Buffalo Bloggers.

I know the e:strippers can be kind of a close-knit cliquey group, but we don't bite and we'd've been happy to talk to other people... But I was so uncomfortable there, the way all the middle-aged surburbanite ladies were staring disapprovingly at me, that I really couldn't tell whether any of them were trying to socially network or not, and it did a real number on my propensity to happily meet new people. I mean, I'm not shy, but who'd've thought a Ye Olde Busty Beer Wench costume would get so many disapproving glares? At OKTOBERFEST! My skirt was longer than that old dude's lederhosen! Come on. I've never been so disapproved of in my <i>life</i>.

I really won't be terribly eager to show up to any more Buffalo Blogging events in the future-- there's nothing quite so uncomfortable as being told there's a party and then having the person who told you about it not show up. It's an unpleasant timewarp back to junior high. At least when e:paul hosts a party at his house, you know he'll be there.
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I mean, whatever-- we had some fun, I enjoyed the pierogis and beer, it wasn't so bad. But Jesus. I didn't go as a stripper-- i decided, somewhat last-minute, that I should go in the spirit of the thing, as a beer wench.
I don't know how many of you have seen me in costume before. Roller derby has cured me of the last tiny vestiges of body shame I had; now I really don't mind if the whole city sees most of my ass, because it's all in the spirit of things. Now, I didn't dress skimpily-- I decided I would opt for 'tasteful', as you never know who'll be at these things. But my 'tasteful' simply involves showing less than three inches of cleavage* and no ass-cheek whatsoever.

So I wore a sprung-steel-boned corset, a three-quarter-sleeved white (opaque!) chemise, and a miniskirt with a frilly corset. I also wore opaque tights with black lace thigh-highs over them. Out of habit, I wore short bike shorts under the skirt, ensuring that no ass cheek would show even if the skirt flipped up. All in all, it was slightly racy, but obviously a costume as opposed to clubbin' gear, and no underwear was exposed.

I got stared at. Other women were wearing dirndls of varying degrees of authenticity. Other women even had short skirts. There were people in all kinds of clothing, including a girl in a black mini-dress and fuck-me boots. Yes, my breasts are unsubtle, particularly when elevated in a corset, but it wasn't a lingerie corset-- it was a reproduction 16th-century noblewoman's pair of bodies, which is generally tubular in shape and elevates but squashes the breasts. I really wasn't showing that much tit.

Anyway. It was a deeply uncomfortable experience, and maybe there were other bloggers who were too busy disapproving of my un-cool garb to speak to us? I don't know. The only other person who self-identified as a blogger there was the dude from Punaro.org, who wouldn't even sit with us, but sat with his family at a neighboring table. I assume they were his family, anyway.
Maybe there were other bloggers there, I don't know. Maybe I should've made more of an effort to find out. I don't know. But I was far too intimidated by the disapproving and faintly-hostile glares of the rest of the Oktoberfest attendees (men too! Since when has a man in his late 30s been so horrified by a woman's cotton-covered breasts that he can't even look at her? People were falling over to avoid looking at me, unless they were glaring at me.) to be able to nerve myself up to go talk to them. So I sat next to the Blogtoberfest sign from 6pm until 9pm, and was carefully Not Spoken To by anybody except the e:strippers.

Awesome-- I feel so much a part of Buffalo's Blogging Community, I'm totally going to more events. I can't wait to be ignored or glared at by yet more people. It's so worth my time and effort. I love social networking.


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* As Edith Wharton comments in The Age of Innocence, and I'm paraphrasing because I haven't read the book in a decade or so,
"Three inches of cleavage is fashionable, but four is just vulgar."

So I found the original post, I guess, about Blogtoberfest.


Oh really?
Yeah really?

If you're not there, we will talk trash about you.

Oh?
And what if we are there?

Eh well, whatever, I guess I'm done feeling ill-at-ease about that.

I think we should invite all these people to the Halloween party, though.