07/05/07 12:18 - 66ºF - ID#39918

what the hell is wrong with women?

what is the deal with women saying they are going to hang out, make plans to do something, or say they want space or whatever, AND NEVER GETTING BACK TO YOU OR IN TOUCH WITH YOU TO AT LEAST LET YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON? i mean, wouldnt it be considerate to just drop a line and be forward and say-

"hey, i don't feel like hanging out"

-or-

"hey, im not going to be able to make it"

-or-

"hey, this just isn't going to work"

and here the typical stereotype is that men never show enough concern for plans/emotions/commitment.

i swear to god, as far as romance and gender roles are concerned, more and more im beginning to believe the proverbial tables have been turned.

on another note, i have met somone... and she is gorgeous. but, for some reason, i cannot get the last one out of my head(heart?). i don't know what to do, because she could be soo much better for me, but im just not feeling as into her as the other (previous) one. i seem to have little in common with her comparitivley to the last girl, who was by all means, save reciprocation, my dreammate.

its been more than three weeks. when somone asks for space, generally they don't mean 4+ weeks. she still hasn't deleted me from her myspace profile, but has ignored the few attempts i made to reach her to at least get some form of closure.

i don't want to hurt this new one, but i don't want this previous mess to tangle me up, either. i want to be able to move on and try somethin with somone, and why not with her (new girl)? she is gorgeous, and i mean that, but she dosent interest me as much (or quickly?) as the other. maybe its just because we didn't fuck within the first 4 hours of meeting each other like i did with the last one. i feel like my heart is constantly being put through a rock tumbler.

maybe if im lucky it will come out all smooth, polished, and pretty. hopefully somone might be able to ignore the fact that despite its brilliant veneer it has gone cold and hard...

pyrcedgrrl writes at 12:59:51 07/06/07 - Comment #20456: Since Peter mentioned Sex and the City, I will chime in with my absolute favorite episode that I happened to watch the other night.

"She's just not that into you."

What you said in your post is ABSOLUTELY right...no one needs 4+ weeks of "space"...especially if they are interested.

Cut your losses, chalk it up to an extended one night stand and don't bring that baggage into a new relationship with you.

Take care.

metalpeter writes at 05:38:19 07/05/07 - Comment #20434: Ok I admit I am no Sarah Jessica Parkers character on sex in the city. But You just said that the first girl you fucked with in 4 hours of knowing her, that is a huge factor. It sounds to me like you where her piece of meat. What happened after that first time I don't know how much more you two hung out. But it could have basicly turned into a booty call. The other factor is the term "hang out" it is very casual almost as much as when you write a note or letter and say see ya around. Often I think what it really means is if I have time and nothing else better going on maybe I'll think about calling you and then maybe I will. I say forget about the previous girl. If she calls great and if not, not. It is possible that the reason you aren't as much into this new girl is that you have some emotional connection to the previous one. You sound like you are still into the new goregous chick but just not as much. See what happens and maybe you will get into her more.

jenks writes at 10:18:45 07/05/07 - Comment #20412: 1: there's more to life than gorgeous, and if you're not into her, move on

and 2: I'm with you- I would MUCH rather have a guy just be upfront and TELL ME "hey you're cool but I don't think it'll work out", or hell, just say 'you're fucking crazy and I can't deal' than just play the ''i'll call you' and then not call' game. I think people think it's "nicer" to "spare your feelings", but I personally hate it. But I know some people prefer it, so, who knows.

good luck.

it's a minefield out there.

jason writes at 10:17:13 07/05/07 - Comment #20411: Vycious,

It is a human trait (not just female) to be a weasel, an unaccountable jerk when it comes to these situations. People don't like to have to answer for why they're ignoring you. They just are ignoring you, because they're great, and you're shit, so fuck you. It's a lot easier to just walk away, or lie to you (I want space? Please bitch, please) instead of being a grownup and doing the right thing. Everyone at some point is guilty of this.

As frustrating as it is, you should just understand and accept this fact. When a girl says she wants space, and it's been 4 weeks, and she's ignoring you, what she's really saying is you're out, permanently, and some other dude probably is in. Stings, don't it? I've been there, brother. That's life, so drink it up and like it, man. It's not the worst thing in the world, and the sky is not falling. Being able to accept things like this means never having to feel shitty over some chick who isn't talking to you anymore. It's grrreeeaaat!

And - think about how fair it is to date someone when your mind is elsewhere. It's one of those things that people do. I'm not judging you for it. Have fun, have some good times, all that stuff, but if it starts to get somewhat heavy then you'll know where you're at.