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Category: death

11/19/09 12:43 - 54ºF - ID#50343

Existential Moment Part 2

So I guess this is the second part to

This morning I was puttering around the house this morning running a bit late to get some stuff done today when i decided to then change my plans. I figured, "Hey, Why not stop by Lewiston to grab some Orange Cat Roastmaster Select?" Then as I was attempting to find a parking spot when generally the only people you are competing against are Senior Citizens, PTA Moms and the occasional excentric I realized that the streets were full. At this time I realized, "Oh, S**t it's that Kid's funeral today over at St. Peters!"

I ran into the Cat to grab a large coffee, started to chit chat with a refreshingly edgy barista (I had been a bit disappointed with the latest employees that were just talking about boys and playing Dave Matthew behaving like the east coast version of valley girls) but that's beside the point. She told me that she lost her father recently and his funeral was the same day [Sunday] when JM crashed his car. So other than that I did have a quick group therapy session with her as I shared the fact that my 17 sister lost her life in a car accident 12 years ago.

With my coffee in hand I just decided to mediate on all that was going on around me and I just walked a few blocks in the village. I don't know how it happened but the next thing I realize I was in the back of the church listening to the Eulogy. It did bring back quite a bit of emotions. What I felt was like a spiritual steam when I was in the church as if gravity was much stronger and the air was heavier. At moment I can totally see how mediums can pick up on things. Yes, it felt weird going in there but I was just happy to remember all of my Catholic upbringing in going through the sign of the cross, genuflecting and the like as the big Italian guys that worked for the funeral home manning the back of the church seemed to initially give a surprised look as to think, "Who the F is this Dude dressed up in his hoodie?" I guess after I pulled out half of this semi obscure prayer as they were reciting it at the end, they were like, "OK he's alright" and were nice to me as I made my quick exit.

Maybe my logic was the following; I knew I was going to drive past the spot where he died as there is almost no way to avoid it. I guess I wanted to pay my respects and get a feel for his spirit before I saw it for the first time.

In the end I kind of wish I was more into the whole bereavement thing like my parents are involved. I just don't have to energy to give anyone as I have my own issues and am still recovering and will always be in some respect. The one bit of wisdom that I wish I could tell everyone that goes through losing someone just starting their adult life is don't put your own life on hold. In some respect I wish I didn't put myself second to my parents going through their tough time as through that process I do feel as if I missed out on mining some good years of my life in which I may have missed some good opportunities. That may seem selfish, but you do have to live life in the present moment, not in the past.


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Permalink: Existential_Moment_Part_2.html
Words: 614
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: college

11/18/09 11:30 - 54ºF - ID#50337

Never Graduate



The title was the marketing slogan from the launch of ESPNU which for the most part features primarily college sports.



This story does touch the sports fan in me especially the college sports fan in me. You have to feel a connection with an institution to be that passionate about the team for decades. What really got me is the methodical planning of his rounds for every game. Then again the bond of going to a school that takes their sports half seriously is a pretty strong one.

The thing that gets me is pretty obvious, he never got married or had any kids. A part of me kind of thinks that he is akin to "the old guy in the club." No one wants to be the old guy on Chippewa.

Although it is a great story about the love of your school and the passionate dedication, it kind of make me want just find a halfway descent non psycho woman and put a ring on her finger.


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Permalink: Never_Graduate.html
Words: 189
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: death

11/17/09 08:31 - ID#50335

An extential moment

I went out last night to catch Left on Red the group whom I met after being attacked by a tent at the Elmwood Village Art Fest. In which the lead singer Liah sung, "You have nothing to lose, you're going to die anyway."

Anyway one of the lyrics just make me think and to be honest I've been thinking about life & death all week due to some local news that brought back some memories that hit pretty close to home. There's nothing more brutal than to have someone you love lose their life right when it's really beginning.

So it just brings me to think, Have I really lived for the past decade or just existed? Now some people think that my seasonal FUNemployment right now is the life, but actually I've been kind of lethargic. Thanks God I have a finance class that is forcing me to brush up on my accounting skills to keep my mind active for most of the year. But looking back I remember being on Pogey in the late 90's and loving it. Then again when I think back to being "in the prime of my life" I kind of wish I didn't kind of haphazardly do noting by working out most of the time. I also hung out with friends as while they were working, which really seems kind of odd when you think about it.

But really, Do I enjoy every moment and take advantage of it? Last night I got a booty call from someone I know who is in a relationship. A part of me just is wondering if I did the wrong thing by not going over to her place as 1. Her desire for 1am booty calls during the week may not be a permanent thing. 2. My sexual desirability to others may not be forever and 3. You never know what will happen to one's self, hey our bodies do age over time as we don't live forever in peak performance shape.

But it really made me reflect on the past and what I am currently doing with myself. Now more than ever I do have a solid plan that is being followed with commitment on my end which was not the case before when I was younger. Plus now I do realize that tomorrow is never guaranteed and you have to savor the moment that you're in as you may not have another opportunity to take vacations or crash at friends homes in high cost cites as the room you currently use now will be a nursery in the future.

So all I have to do now is make sure that I never get compliant with being lazy in the now or really not flinching in making those moves out of whatever fear keeps oneself from following through.

This really should be a tag that I should post more about on a semi regular basis.

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Permalink: An_extential_moment.html
Words: 499
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: niagara falls

11/12/09 01:16 - 35ºF - ID#50280

Goat Island & Three Sisters Islands

I was bored this week and as I don't have much going on I took a pics on Monday.



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Permalink: Goat_Island_amp_Three_Sisters_Islands.html
Words: 109
Location: Youngstown, NY


11/10/09 06:58 - 47ºF - ID#50270

apple store

OK my turn



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Permalink: apple_store.html
Words: 6
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: election

11/03/09 02:13 - ID#50209

election day '09

I already voted today on a pretty uninspiring ballot. Basically the only thing I was voting on today was the three propositions that were on the ballot the first one being the right of way for National Grid to build some power line though somewhere up in St. Lawrence, Giving the OK for prisoners to work for non-profits voluntarily and to downsize the Niagara Co. Legislature. Other than that all of the races were uncontested except for town council. Which was quite interesting as I had 3 candidates stop by with the kicker being that the two Republican/Conservative line stopping by together. I don't know how it will end as the GOP has a stronghold in Porter and the power base of the town and to a even stranger extent is in Ransomville anyways.

All I can say is that I lived in that Ohio and was able to vote on Issue 3, a casino proposition My gut is that it will be close as this is the fifth time in 20 years that they have tried to pass such a proposal, but the first time with the economy being in shambles. Deep down I know that casino's are bad for a local community as I worked in one for far too long, and what jobs they do create is offset by the local businesses that they destroy. But people have some kind of sick desperation for a job with benefits, no matter what the cost to their family life or community. So who knows will these "heartland" people blow off their church leaders in favor of a quick fix with the hope that they will get hired at some shitty casino job?

Other than that I am getting a kick out of the NY 23 race. It's not everyday that the nation at large gets to see out 'Conservative" Party at work. As in this case it wasn't sold off to the one of the two major parties for it always seems to be the case.
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Permalink: election_day_09.html
Words: 345
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: wedding

11/02/09 12:29 - 50ºF - ID#50199

The Webber Reception

Here are some photos from the reception. Ok, these are pics of the people that had to be almost physically kicked out. Great shots of (e:jason) and (e:josh)



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Also keep in mind that the above pictures were taken under ISO 640
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Permalink: The_Webber_Reception.html
Words: 60
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: random thoughts

10/30/09 02:02 - ID#50152

really random

I did find this pretty odd as I always thought NYC was immune to the diaspora that we have experienced for decades

Dan Snyder is the ultimate little man douche, Wow and we thought Ralph was bad at least he's not suing Bills Fan. Then again if you're just scrapping by you shouldn't be spending your money on football tickets, it's just a game in the end. But I remember when I went down there last year, we made it a point to consume as much as we could before we went into FexEx so Dan wouldn't get any more cash from us more than he would have to.

Make 6 figures for doing this! Seriously, what are we doing wrong?

Lastly What is happening today with the stock market? I mean yesterday it was declared "Move along the great recession is over!" as GDP finally turned positive. Now I guess reality came back to bite us?

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Permalink: really_random.html
Words: 194
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: fall

10/27/09 10:33 - 53ºF - ID#50133

More Fall Foliage

I took these today in Niagara Falls Ontario Canada with my Canon PowerShot SD960 IS


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I found the old school logo in Canada mesmerizing.


But other than that this is just me bumming around the Canadian side after buying a 12 pack of Cplus and other Canadian treats.


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Yea, a Canadian Black Squire in the wild.

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Permalink: More_Fall_Foliage.html
Words: 145
Location: Youngstown, NY


Category: real estate

10/26/09 11:41 - ID#50126

Gentrification

So they're almost done "cleaning up" downtown. First it was The hookers on Chippewa, then it was the House of Quinn, more recently it has been the demolition of the Continental. Now I guess they're going to kick out the crackhead bums out of the Hotel Lafayette Because after all there is a proven track record of crackhead bums that live in that building

Now the last time I was in the general vicinity was in July with (e:metalpeter) as we went to the Lafayette Tap Room. I was pretty blown away even in the bar side by the marble and other intricacies such as the back restaurant section resembling the old aud club. So I'm torn as I do appreciate the history and the architecture of one of the few remaining building from the 1901 Pan Am Expo. Then another part of me mourns the inevitable loss of another shady aspect of downtown Buffalo.

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Permalink: Gentrification.html
Words: 167
Location: Youngstown, NY


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