My little break is over... I gave/allowed/forced myself to take a break from all school related projects and thinking. It was at times hard not to think about it, and quite a few times I felt out of place, as I have become accustomed to working steadily at everything. It just felt weird to stop, not have a book in front of me, computer turned off and miles away and not doing anything productive.

blahblahblah
blahblah

blah

so I must get back to it shortly.

ick, there is a family issue to contend with before I get into a little house cleaning-paper writing. I think I dreampt about it last night. More about that mess later...

I have a few pics to post later as well. I'll post a pic of the devil babydoll I saw. *shiver*

clowns, spider monkeys, spiders and babies are scary.

what going on tonight? im in cattaragous county on lake erie i plan to leaue 7-8 ish text-call (deleted)

Yeh, I can't draw with this thing quite yet.

I'm not a fan of sweetened tea. I went through the drive up Starbucks around the corner from my college.. I tried sipped my tea only once I arrived to class. Its sweetened. Yuck. I'm drinking it anyway; worse things could happen :)

My flowers look scorched. If nothing else I have been tending to my flowers. I deadhead them, pull the occasional weed and water my beauties almost daily.

Yesterday I gave them all a good drink-- and by 4:30 pm today, they look wilted. I need to get back outside and take care of them, pronto.

My garden spots look like a jungle as everything is overgrown and needs to be divided and replanted. I had hoped to have been able to take care of that a few weeks ago, but now the opportunity is gone-- I need to wait it out a few more weeks before I can clean it up a bit. (e:matthew), when you are finally in your new home and settled-- I will share anything that you want.

I even have half a dozen bush/tree/plants that need to be planted. However, I do not see that happening until the end of summer., either. They are holding up well in their pots so far.

If- When I move, I will be digging a lot of plants out of the ground. I have accumulated so many in the past two summers. I have a knack for growing things outside. Just don't let me near an indoor plant...

My next home, which I would rather be in a position to buy (preferably B-Lo) as opposed to rent-- 'cause my apartment now is great for the rent price, size, privacy, etc.. and as I have too much 'house' stuff to just move into any old place.. I must have a little bit of a yard to plant my jungle. I don't like things to be overly manicured. I like it kinda wild- yet with some planning to it. I make things look nice-- I just don't need or want a cookie cutter look.

I imagine a smallish yard for my secret garden.. er, secret jungle? And a place to sit, read, write, drink wine, socialize and escape into the smells, sight and ambiance of nature.

So although I also wanted to put in a vegetable garden this year and was not able to, I managed to put in an herb garden. I have a bunch of different herbs lining a huge built in flower box that runs the length of my front porch. It great to cook something and just step out the door to snip some fresh herbs. Yum. I have used everything that I have planted so far except the Dill.

Now, What do I do with dill??? besides make a dill dip???

any ideas???????????????????????????????


I am clueless! (e:kara) ?????? help!!!! :)

ooh, while i am thinking about it.. (e:ladycroft) remember-- you must let me know what your schedule looks like in general. :)


I better get back outside and do some watering.. then its school work. surprised? nah, me either.

I'm on top of things though yay!

nerdy self observations ahead...

I used to dislike reading a lot of information from a computer screen. Most of the time I would print it out for the comfort of reading from something in my hands. I am talking about reports, chapters, and other documents of length.

I'd say that the time spent in Grad school changed that along with changing habits and interests. First from necessity and practicality then from an ever increasing love of all things computer related.

Its always been there, now I have found the outlet and know-how.

Ok, so these past two weeks (ok, two years) I have had to read some pretty heavy material. Often I read what I thought I needed to depending on the book. This weekend I started a good size school book that I needed to read in its entirety for an upcoming writen review, analysis and application paper. I thought my eyes were going to fall out of my head! When I turned to the computer screen instead to read, my eyes were happy again.

Before, when I used to print out lengthy sources of information, it was partly due to that reason. It made my eyes feel funky to ready a lot from the computer screen. I find some humor in this change. After a few hours (days?) of reading, I adjusted to reading from a book again. I mean, I read my school books, but I was trying to get this all read in a few days-- which I succeeded (YAY)-- along with the other readings and assignments and such.

Last week, I needed to work my way through a book that, while fascinating-- it was OMG heavy. I loved it-- but that meant I had to try to keep my mind from wandering, or it would take so much longer to get through the material. I guess, my mind wandering serves a purpose. I tend to find myself assimilating and accomodating the information as I read it-- so I pause and think about how it fits into things..

Well, in order to fully grasp and remember the material, I found myself plugging it into mathamatical formulas. I have little equations jotted throughout the book. Now, I am not particularly mathamatically inclined. Heck, I'd consider myself mathamatically challenged. Yet I find myself doing things like this. As I can visualize things after seeing them, I have found this useful- among other styles of notes, etc. Sometimes (ok, often) I figure things out without actually knowing how. I'm picking things up along the way-- it is a normal occurance.
So while my middle school/high school/ college math aptitude was less than stellar-- I would be very much interested in revisiting applications that were once completely lost to me. I learn quick, I tend to 'get' things and I enjoy trying new things-- so why not?!! Whats the point? just to learn.. I wont ever stop.

Ok.. so I am working my way through this book.. when at some point the writer is reiterating a theory and plugs it into a--guess what? --mathamatical formula-- which--- looks like mine. OK, so mine was tweaked and looked even better, imo. I thought, ok, thats cool--I am thinking beyond the material, understanding the relationships, etc-- still a norm for me-- but the math formula thing has been recent (past year). Probably seems elementary to you brilliant mathamaticians!

..but I am humored.

so maybe a math class is in my future? not sure if I can find something like that.. might need to start off with some 7th graders!

Maybe I will dust off the GED book that I accidently bought when I thought I picked up a GRE book!!! HAHA Not sure if I ever told that story.. It had two of the three letters right? so thats 2/3.. hey, I might do alright afterall. hahahaha

Its after 10pm already. Time to get ready for bed and the work day...

be good-- keep learning, questioning and unlearning :)

Carey

approximately two years ago I signed up for a gmail account- for research purposes. I wrote a bit about googles privacy policy and gmail in (e:theecarey,88)

Recently I have done a few searches within the gmail app, using the "search the web" option.

Two fairly recent searches have been on foreign languages and internet dating. The first, for translations and a global perspective, business-wise. The latter, research for an upcoming project (the things that I do!).

I have maintained my gmail account for a few reasons. For one, it is great for keeping spam that ends up in my primary account, yahoo, to a minimum. I have ezine subscriptions, newsletters, research related stuff and a bunch of other email required accounts that have really added up to an excessive amount of email.. so it keeps it all away from my precious yahoo email. xxoo

So naturally, I receive a lot of spam. Gmail pretty much takes care of it. I have around 4000 in the spam box daily. I don't bother deleting as there are just too many to contend with. I also receive some spam in my regular inbox- no surprise considering the purpose for this account is to manage subscriptions and such.

well.. some recent spam that has ended up in my regular account in mass amounts has been in spanish, french or german- and/or has been in the context of international business ('be our foreign financial officer', etc) and I have received a ton of mail pertaining to dating sites of ALL kinds.

"eroticy dating" --'Hot xxx dating' (is it any other way? haha)
"cherish dating" --'Interactive Adult dating'
"single christians" -- 'where Christians meet'
"thirty plus singles" ((im not at the plus yet!!!!!!!!))
"perry suarez- naked dating club- Our members get laid" HAHAHAHA
"real mature singles" 'find love after 50'

oh and the list goes on..

"wealthy men" --this one kinda weirded me out. I thought it was crazy. I posted a link to in in the chat the other day. Anyone set up an account? haha

www.wealthymen.com

anyway, seeing how I didn't sign up for anything (I swear its for research-- at least at this point in time. That Perry Suarez seems pretty promising, haha)- I wonder if it is coincidental that I am receiving all of this email after I used the gmail search option.

maybe it is coincidental.

maybe not.

maybe I will try another search. What do you suggest???

maybe i'll take another look at the privacy policy..

or maybe I will send off an email to Sergey, ala (e:twisted) style ;)

(i have a pic of you dressed in drag, man!!!!!)

I stood in front of my kitchen cupboards looking wistfully inside, hoping something spectacular would materialize. Digging through the freezer, I passed over a few bags of Blah, a box of Humdrum and a whole bunch of freezer-burned Boring. A perusal of the refrigerator turned up nothing short an assortment of moldy, unidentifiable, and "I probably shouldn't eat that- um, what is it anyways?" kibbles.

peering into the back shelf: "I didn't know asparagus could ever look like that!"

poking my fingers carefully around the produce drawer: "When bad things happen to (used to be) good mangoes"

and, lets play, 'Name that Bowl of Gook?': "Oh god, I think that used to be lentils and feta.."

brought me to the realization that I need to go grocery shopping.

But not on a Friday.

ok, no date. no parties. no major plans.

But I was not about to go shopping, even if it meant starving. Knowing full well that I wouldnt allow that to happen, I had to defer to my creative side.

I proceeded to the basement, where besides a giant heap of laundry, an assortment of spiders and a ton of empty space, I have a shelf of extra food. My kitchen is small and cupboards are sparse, so I tend to put most of my dry stuff in the basement. I figured I could find something. I stare at the shelves and ponder:

"hmm, what can I do with a bottle of curry sauce?"

"cheerios are my friend..."

"hmm, bamboo shoots.."

"should ketchup be brown?"

"oh, should grapefruit juice be brown???"

"so thats where I put the seaweed, I should make something with that sometime"

peering into a grocery bag, "ahhh, I forgot about my lentil-booty"..

(A month or so ago I purchased a mass amount of lentils, some of which are kept in the kitchen. Normally an option, but nah, I just can't, not after the bowl of 'Formerly Known as Lentil and Feta'. )

I figured I was totally beat, until I checked another shelf-- the rarely touched, Baking Supplies section. Amidst the flour and other, Carey's Cooking Items of Mass Destruction, I located two packages of Ramen Noodles. What is this??

Remnants of undergrad days? (>5 years)

I contemplate and talk myself into thinking that they have a perpetual shelf life. Score!!!

I take my new found treasure upstairs and into the kitchen. I am kind of giddy with curiouslty. Although I have had a recent conversation about Ramen Noodles, and I thought I might have had a package lingering around, it was not until I had the tangible package in my hand that a flood of memories came back.

Its been many years since I have had raman noodles. My friends and I often dined on Raman Noodles and the many variations one could come up with. I usually ate one package with half of the flavoring packet and with just a little bit of broth; not nearly as creative as my friends concoctions. How did you eat your Ramans?

For dessert, we often dove into a box of Little Debbie snacks washed down with a Little Hug drink. Seriously, for a quarter, you had a meal, drink and dessert.

Now, I grew up poor, so coming up with creative cheap meals was a norm. My toys, my hobbies and my imagination were a product of being 'poor'. Not that I really cared even though living in a town of the wealthy had its moments.

In college, it was just a fact of life at that time to be poor. I don't recall exactly how we ended up with government food, but I do recall how freakin' fabulous Government issued Peanut Butter was. Oh, and cheese. Orange Juice was weird..tasted like grapefruit juice. But, oh, that peanut butter was the best!!It came in a large white cardboard cylindrical container with black lettering. For those who have had the opportunity to have it, know it well and probably loved it. It was much different than any other peanut butter out there. I thought it was THE BEST.

Even better?? -- Dunking the Little Debbie chocolate peanut butter wafer bars into the giant vat of that delicious peanuty government goodness. yum. It was kinda sweet and more dry than other butters, and a bunch of us would be piled on a bed, eating, and all of us thinking, man, we should be able to go and by this!

hehe, I wonder if that PB is still made? And can I get me some?? :)

I'm still poor !! :-D

And so I thought of all the foods that were regular staples a decade ago: spagetti, macaroni and (powdered) cheese, very cheap hot dogs, tinas frozen burritos, raman noodles, little debbie snacks, little hugs, PB&J sandwhiches (on white), saltines, Banquet pot pies and potato chips; and Mad Dog 20/20 hahahaha!

I don't think a fruit or vegetable crossed our paths during that time..

Whether is was a time of being broke, a 'strange' food desire, or a lack of culinary skills, what is your fondest (or not so fond) food memory-- even if you still indulge..??

I have decided that I probably won't partake in a raman noodle adventure again anytime soon (maybe the flavoring packets go bad..?!) but I have a craving for some Mad Dog, haha kidding.. Actually, I havent had a toasted PB&J in years. So, no, it wouldnt be government issued PB and it would have to be jam or preserves and it would be on whole wheat..oh and the bread would be toasted in the oven.. not even sure if I have a toaster..

---

My taste buds werent thrilled with the raman noodles. I had some cheerios instead (the milk was still good!) but I ended up going shopping Saturday evening. In and Out. Fruit, veggies, nothing too complicated. Nothing too exciting, food-wise or social wise. So a trip to the grocery store was my big venture out; and a quick jaunt over to Blockbuster. Rented a french foreign film, Cache (Hidden). When I returned home, I realized I wasnt in the mood to read a movie. I watched part of it then had to stop. I just didn't want to think about what I was watching or try to interpret it by listening. Silly me, what was I thinking?

I bought, Taxi-- that looks fun.

yeesh, I feel like I have been away from everybody lately. I have been a bit elusive due to a major amount of school work. Nothing new there other than it seems to have intensified. About five more weeks to go--and I will be working my ass off every minute of it. I didn't even procrastinate on getting this weeks work done!! I had to start Friday and I have been at it ever since. Was in bed, asleep by 10:30 pm Saturday night! I hope to complete it by tomorrow and begin the following weeks assignments ahead of time. (yes, you have heard it first!)

There is other, more exciting stuff I want to work on..

Cant believe its Sunday night already. Must get ready for the work day.

I will need to get out this coming week/ weekend. Anyone up for 'coffee' ? :)

In the meantime, one day at a time..


and right now.. Good night :)

"Weather forecast for tonight:

• 
  
• 
  

dark."

-George Carlin


~Carey

Logging into (e:strip) has long ago become a daily habit. On most days I read the lastest entries. Occasionally I miss an entry when there have been multiple posts (by the individual user, or it was just a busy day on the strip).

To counter this, I have taken to clicking on the 'search' tab to check to see what people are saying about what. How interesting (and fun) to read peeps views and reactions on just about everything! This too is where I can see what entries I may have missed. Reading other peoples comments gives me a new perspective on the original post. Sometimes I misinterpret or overlook an aspect of the original content. Sometimes I learn something entirely new or my interest in the subject matter propels me to do a little research on my own; and sometimes I am just nosey. ;)

Whatever the case, coming to (e:strip) is a part of my day. I am sure there are a few of you who can relate, no?

Some days, when I just need to read more, I click on "random journal", which brings me to just about anyone who has written on (e:strip). Some people have only one or two journals posted, others, well, have over 2000 ;) But most of us fall somewhere in between.

(e:libertad) added to tonights chatter, a link to another journal. As he referred to it, "..my random journal finding". I don't remember the username to the link he provided, but it made me think of a recent "random journal" that I read and found entertaining and had thought about sharing-and had since forgotten to do. This reminder leads me to posting a link to "my random journal finding" --> (e:lowercase,1) titled, "the evolution of my palette" This user has not posted since. I wonder what became of them? of any of them? But here they are, here we are, intertwined among the written lives of all the (e:strip) members.

Its a long read, but in my opinion, a good one. It took me by surprise a little bit..

Enjoy the evening everyone.. the weekend is almost here!

Carey

sitting in my non airconditioned car eating a small cup of chili. Thinking back to my hot soup the other day, I ponder whether my tastes are eclectic or eccentric! ---back to work, later gators

Hello Monday, are you really here already?

I'm not so sure about this early morning stuff- ya know, rising with the sun when I would rather sleep for a few more hours, tucked snuggly under my pillows and blankets. hmmm. I have been doing it for over three years, but it is never easy.

I just got off the treadmill and feel positive about this week being fully back into routine. Last week was to figure out how to sleep, this week is to exercise in the morning like I normally do. Then evenings I can do recreational activities.

Quick shower time, just jumped off one treadmill to get on another-
I have fun at work, I enjoy the environment, the challenges and it is rewarding on some level, but I know that I am not going anywhere, professionally. That is a realization that I must face, accept and plan to move on from.

I think it will be fully liberating when I allow myself to move on.

anyhow, I have to leave for work in a few minutes.. Have a great day everyone :)