i can't believe how horrible it is to be pregnant. i am certain i am not the only one who has felt this way, but i really don't know anyone else who has expressed just how bad it really is.

i know myself pretty well. i have been aware of my body and always been healthy. but now, from energetic and competent, I have digressed to being exhausted and disabled.

i have gained one pound so far, but my clothes do not fit me because my body has gone haywire. all of a sudden, about 1 week ago, i started getting fat. i feel like a blob.

the worst physical change is that my boobs have gone from a size 32C to a fucking 32E. i've already gone up three sizes and i can't even begin to explain how uncomfortable it is to have those things hanging off of me all the time.

and i know it's just going to get worse.

i used to sleep a normal 7 or 8 hours a night. now i sleep 12 hours a day (yes, half of my life!). and when I am awake, i am almost always tired.

people have started to say congratulations to me. i want to scream that i hate this and don't want to be congratulated. this is such a burden. i didn't know it was going to be like this.

the indianapolis colts were my favorite team this year (sorry, bills, but you have become my second choice), and sadly, they lost now in the wildcard playoff.

new orleans, my third favorite team, also lost today.

i don't have anyone left to root for.

I have certainly taken a liking to my chickens. It all started when I got 10 hens for my birthday this April. Our flock has now increased to 48 birds.

My latest additions were 3 of these buff brahmas (this is not my photo, but it shows what they look like). They are the sweetest girls ever! They LOVE people and are the friendliest of the 9 different varieties that we have.



But, they are HUGE!!! I think one of them weighs about 9 pounds. In contrast, my White Leghorns (which is your standard everyday, factory farm, egg-layers) weigh around 4 pounds each.

I can see the economy of raising 4 pound chickens instead of large chickens. I'm already spending $20/week on food! Yes, that is over 50 pounds per week, although they do eat much less food when there is no snow on the ground and can forage for themselves.

the other day, i watched a documentary called Beer Wars. good documentary; it seems that in a lot of ways beer is a few years ahead of vegetables in terms of big vs. small, as the craft beers are growing in popularity.

but there is a super-villain in the beer industry. and the short story is that i vowed never to drink another budweiser or anheuser/busch product again in my life. they are evil.

i broke that promise only two nights later, tonight.

i wanted to get some beer for me and mark. i drove to the beer store to pick up some OV, old vienna, for $7/12 pack. (the cheapest, best non-anheuser/bush product in a 20 mile radius, at least.) when i went to check out, the cashier informed me about their special on budweiser-select 55: only $7/24 pack! i am pretty poor, so this was absolutely too good to pass up.

i let down my principles so quickly. (i got both the O.V. and the busweiser select 55)

but it seems that anheuser-busch had the last laugh. budweiser-select 55 has only 2.4% alcohol. that is like drinking one water for every beer. (OV, and my other favorite beer, Labatts, are both 5%)

here's an update on my life. perhaps i will get in to blogging again, as it's the "down season" (as long as my mac holds up, anyway)

we grew over 40 different vegetables this year. big winners were corn, tomatoes, hot peppers, and greens.

the farmer's market downtown was great.....when it didn't rain. it is absolutely horrible when it does rain. it is terrible to have to bring all that produce home.

this convinced me that we need to start a CSA next year. we're starting small, aiming for just 12 families this year. we will still sell at farmers markets, but the long-term goal is to grow the CSA because people at farmer's markets are so fickle. for now, we will only distribute from our farm directly.

one thing i LOVE is our chickens. mark got me 10 hens for my birthday this april. they are fun, and i view them as pets, not livestock. anyway, the eggs were a *huge* hit at market. so we got 30 more chickens this october, and they will start laying in march or april. the chickens live in the barn, where our farm is, and we have moved in to our house, about 4-5 miles away, in town.

it is much easier to make money from selling eggs than it is to sell vegetables. we have yet to make any profit on the farm (this year, our expenses were very high, and last year our harvest was poor). mark and i are hopeful and confident that year 3 will turn this around.

so i work as a bookkeeper on the side (i really like doing this, and i hope to expand this business.) and i also do income taxes. i do not like this job at all, but the seasonal work is exactly what i need.