today i ate:

1 egg

toast lightly buttered

tortilla soup

carrots

half a korean pear

protein bar

whole grain pita chips, about 10

hummus, 3 table spoons

1 tomato

string cheese

prosciutto

other than some things being too salty, this is my best day yet. i feel good, and i am nooooooot tempted to eat crap or candy. plus it's also saving me money to plan out all my meals and only eat at home or bring my lunch to school, internship, work.

i kant believe kim k.... krazy. if she kant find love, who kan? i want to know so badly, who was the krook in this case.... her for wanting publicity? him for using her? or both of them????

have you ever worked out so hard or been so out of shape that you threw up after?

right now, that's basically me.

i really don't want to throw up though, so i am trying to hold it in.

count on any jillian micheals dvd to do that to you. i swear even people in really good shape suffer through those things. it's pretty much 50 minutes of bootcamp. i think the reason they are so hard is that you use mostly your own body weight for resistance, and if you have a few extra pounds it makes it that much harder.

anyway, day 5:

2 cups coffee with hazelnut creamer

1 egg

1 piece lightly buttered toast

1 piece ciabatta bread pizza with tomato, pesto, evoo, cheese

1 slice provolone

banana

and maybe a pear and vegetable soup for dinner

i'm hoping i can walk tomorrow, i need to at least hike or something but jillian has left with me little strength lol.

Day 3: I kinda cheated so...

Greek yogurt

Teavana chai tea

Salad with tomato grilled chicken bacon bits, lil bit of cheese and ranch

String cheese

Hummus and carrots

Handful french fries

Handful pita chips

Small portion Ben n jerrys ice cream

Sandwich with turkey and cheese

Day 4: I started of with a hike and coffee! I did waaay better, pretty much perfect.

Banana

Coffee with hazelnut creamer

2 eggs with asiago, tomato, red pepper, red onion

Piece of ciabatta bread with olive oil, asiago, tomato, pesto

Protein bar

Grilled chicken

Veggies


Brown rice


String cheese

I'm gonna hike again tomorrow and do some work with weights. Woot. I feel thinner already... For real.

My brother sent me a giant whoopie pie for my bday. It just arrived, and its 5 whole lbs of yummy.

I actually froze it because a) I need a houseful of people to help eat it and b) I am not on a giant dessert diet.


Behold!

so i cheated a bit today because i had some drinks, i'll be better tomorrow

here it is:

coffee with hazelnut creamer

banana

salad with mixed greens, hummus, roasted red pepper, tomato, goat cheese, hummus, grilled pita

2 skinny margaritas

2 mojitos

handful fries

bowl of roasted red pepper soup

in an effort to undo the harm i managed to do in a month... i am going to blog my daily food intake for a whole 30 days.

not only do i need to get back in shape, but i need to hold myself accountable for eating bad things and make my health a priority. plus if i write it down, i can't deny that it entered my system.

i want to look amaze for vegas in a month, and it's a great motivator and also will encourage me to exercise and eat right!

i also have some digestive issues that seem to flair up when i don't eat right. veggies and whole grains, here i come!

today:

zone fudge graham protein bar

1/4 cup hummus with organic carrots

cup strawberries

organic beef hotdog on slice of whole wheat bread with a bit of organic mayo, mustard, ketchup, pickles

handful pita chips

bowl of roasted red pepper crab bisque- surprisingly not laden with fat

coffee with hazelnut flavoring

1 string cheese

so i probably had too much salt, but i think that's a good start.

tomorrow i start the workout plan... i really think i can lose 10 lbs in 30 days because i tend to lose weight fast if i try but i wouldn't mind if i just toned up a bit and had more energy after 30 days. wish me luck!

i shall report tomorrow evening.

i received an email today about pledging to use less paper @ asu.... which i am totally fine with. however, the instructors need to all get on the same page with this. i think it's so insane that some of my professors won't accept electronic assignments. i actually think some of them just don't know how to use technology all that well and this is their reasoning.

i have a professor who is near 80 and she can use blackboard just fine... people need to git wit it.

i am becoming friends with a lot more people on campus than before but sometimes it's frustrating because all of the women in my program are engaged, looking to get engaged or already married at a young age. this is odd to me... i am not interested in owning a home or having children at this point. as modern women don't owe it to ourselves to have a bit more lofty dreams?!

one of the cool things about being an educator is the ability to teach from so many places... i plan on taking full advantage.

i started my diet today and then the mom's bf bought me a sandwich, soup and cookie. not as bad as fast food but just as many calories.

a friend invited me to sleepover but i don't like going to her house because she has so many pets. i have such difficulty finding friends who don't have/ don't like animals in the home. a fish or turtle here and there is fine, but dogs and cats no way...

i am also picky because i have really nice sheets pillows, and a great mattress. so what then is the point of a sleepover? i'm like a boring grumpy old lady. with the face of a young lady.

i've spent at least 250 this month so far on gas... which is hard earned money gone to such a waste. this valley is too big... too big and too many suvs.

every once in a while this house i'm nannying at makes random noises. i think someone is home, and then it's just this creaking noise.

i hate being scared.

i also hate that paranormal activity commercial with the little girl who is standing in the room looking creepy. i am so scared of it that when it comes on tv and i don't have time to grab the remote i run out of the room or close my eyes and cover my ears.

i want a filter on my t.v. that will bypass all things scary and only allow me to watch bravo programs and the kardashians. and abc, because they have the best shows.

this is seriously what i am beginning to think i have. i have had more falling outs with friends and family in the past year than ever before.

it's making me think that i am either a) a bad friend or b) i choose the wrong people to trust

i honestly think its the latter... i'll give in any relationship until i am pushed away.

anyway, i can get over most of it because i realize on a daily basis there are tons of loyal and caring people in my life. i'll have people randomly reach out to me and it's touching to know people care about you. for instance, these people i nanny for found out it was my bday last week and gave me a visa gift card. i think that's pretty nice... they pay me well already and feed me.

my cousin is avoiding me and i have no clue why. she's turning 21 soon, and i thought she would want me to take her out. she also lives a few minutes from me, and we never see each other. oh well, i tired to make plans and she brushes me off so i feel like it pointless to push someone to want to be around you when they obviously don't.

maybe i am just to honest for most people. i say the truth, and people say i'm being mean. but is the truth really mean or just something people hide from? i'll be the first to admit my flaws... i'm over-sensitive, picky, bratty at times, and no good at saving money....

i let a friend of a friend borrow money a few months ago. she is a single mother and she needed help. big mistake. now, i am out my money and won't ever get it back. annnd no longer have that friendship because i was honest and told my friend i didn't think it was cool she was letting her still married with a kid bf move in with her and her friend who has a child.

why do people bring children into this world and not care for them and give them the best??? if i had a child, i would change my lifestyle completely and want to make sure they had the best life possible... i wouldn't leave them in another city and state to go live with a person when i was still married to my supposed ex.

i guess i have too many opinions... but i am not changing that anytime soon. i just think people should be less afraid of holding the mirror up because then maybe we could all have normal loving relationships instead of hiding behind our behind and pasts that we don't deal with.

just saying.

i'm well on my way to getting all a's this semester and while i am knee deep in work, it feels goods to be accomplished. that and graduating magna cum laude well look good for grad school.

almost two days of staying off my feet has done wonders for my leg. maybe i should start doing the jillian micheals ab video to prep for vegas while i wait for my leg to completely heal? (e:paul) and (e:terry) will be there in a month and im going out to meet them. words can't express the excitement i have... almost like my heart will burst from having too much love for them!!!!!!!! i get so excited when people come out here because the only who ever does is my sis.

if you are still reading, you're a fool because at this point i am just blabbing. i have to work until 3am and staying awake is super hard because i am usually in bed by 10.

i just watched suckerpunch and i really liked it. the makeup and costumes are so cool. i want to be one of the girls from the movie... they are all so pretty and they do awesome stunts. i love this makeup... i want to do mine like this in vegas.

she really has the prettiest face.

really. uh my mom has been gone for almost two weeks...

i am scared of the dark.

finished writing a paper on dyslexia and teaching strategies at 12, and now its 230 and i'm not tired.

note to self: no starbucks after 3pm.

anyway, im so tired of being home but my injury kinda limits what i can do. here's what i can do: sit and do school work with my leg elevated, write papers, eat, watch t.v. and movies, paint my nails, listen to music...

this is all getting old and so am i. i can't wait to work out again... considering that's how i ended up this way. the meds the dr gave me prevent me from drinking at all... and they don't even help with my pain. i've never had a messed up calf and it's beginning to worry me. me calves are probably the strongest muscle i have.

anyway... i'll just surrender and go to bed. and wake up and do more school work.

suma cum laude here i come!