Tiny this is for you. I wanted to be a jerk and say you can only have it if you stick to one Linux distro for 30 days but I don't hold that much sway.

Equipment:
Ingredients:

-Put the pot on just shy of medium heat*.
Toss in not one, but two glugs of the oil. (A glug: tip the bottle into the pot and stop pouring as soon as it starts to pour)

-Throw in a pinch (a half dozen or so) of kernels. Leave the lid off. Wait for a few of them to pop. The oil is now up to temp.

-Throw in the rest of your kernels. Start with 1/3 cup. Enlid the pot.

-Give the pot a good shake after about a minute or so of vigorous popping. This encourages the lazy unpopped kernels to head down to the pan and get on with it.

-When the popping slows down, peek in and see if the pan is full of popcorn. If it is, turn the heat off.

You can shake some salt or stir in some butter but its pretty good just as it it.

I hope you enjoy it, I feel like Andy fucking Rooney writing this. I guess Andy Rooney would have disparaged other kinds of non-stovetop popcorn though.

• My stove is electric, I forget what heat I used on gas ranges.