I thought this was rather humorous.

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

1) You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
2) There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
3) There is, however, a catch . . . you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

I had a great time at my friend's wedding this past weekend. I'll detail that in a moment but (e:Maureen) wrote some things that hit home and I want to talk about that stuff first.

I know so many women who say that their man has to be x, y, and z - and no less or else they are off the radar completely. It's astonishing to hear them read off their long list of requirements, especially the superficial things that automatically rule a guy out. I've heard some crazy stuff, like he can't have a computer in his bedroom or his nose has to have a certain shape. They look for the "A" candidate, the ones who have it all, who compose about 5% of the male population. When they don't find the ultimate man they sit at the coffee shop with their friends and ask "Where are all the good guys?" They don't even as much as recognize the existence of the "lesser" men and go through life being single and miserable about it. Some women prefer to live single and without a man, and I respect that. The ones who I've been describing are hard to listen to because they are so strict about what makes a man acceptable to them. Of course you can't say "lower your standards" to them because it will result in a major shitstorm - trust me on that one, ahem. Nobody deserves to be miserable but some people have to recognize that it is largely an effect of their own stubborn nature.

Anyhow (e:Maureen) based on reading your journal you seem to be a mature, loyal, calm, thoughtful young woman. You are driven and a hard worker. Oh, yes, you are also quite lovely. You have to recognize the good traits you have and know how important they are to the good men out there, the ones you really want. I'm not saying you have to lower your standards, but instead I want to emphasize that as long as you are reasonable and forgiving you will not be alone, I guarantee it. You have nothing to worry about, and actually I kind of laugh at how silly it is for you to worry about it. Out of my league for sure. You seem to be an A+ young lady, and I see an ivy league educated, handsome, great man in your future. Don't worry, and keep the focus on your school!

Along the same vein (relationships) I went to a wedding this weekend. It was probably the last one I'll have to attend for a while, and I'm really happy about that. Jerry, Josh and I are the only single ones left. Jerry is quite the ladies man so I'm sure he'll be next. Don't expect me to be married anytime soon - I don't think I'm meant to be in a relationship. I'm comfortable this way. Anyhow the wedding was really fun. We had a great time and got to catch up with some old friends from Jamestown.

Josh and I were about half way to Jamestown when I realized I had forgotten my dress shoes. Oh no! I was positive that Gramma had thrown away all of Grampa's old stuff, and I knew we would have ZERO time to go to a store and get some cheap replacements. I decided not to worry about it anymore until we got to Jamestown. When we got there, I had concocted a story about how I tripped and fell, dropping a glass, with my momentum bringing my foot on top of the glass and shattering it, cutting up my foot. Sneakers were just more comfy than dress shoes! This way I could not feel so responsible for looking dorky, with a nice pinstripe suit and Nike shoes. I also walked around the entire time with a fake limp, so everyone would "understand" my dilemma. Haha. I'm such a jerk.

Jason