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07/24/06 05:09 - 80ºF - ID#23322

Scarier than a Satanic Wet Nurse

I have an irrational fear of drag queens.

They scare the shit out of me.

I can talk to them one on one. That is fine.

But put them on a stage, or have multiple drag queens in a single room and I begin to have escapist fantasies. A shrink to the size of a pea nut and fall into someones drink, they carry me off in their bladder. Uncle Louie sticks his head out of the toilet and shows me how to flush myself out of there (extra points to those who get the reference.)

I work with some really cool people at the health food store. I love them all. But this friday I am invited to a drag king show.

I don't have much experience with drag kings. They usually just look silly. Not scary like a drag queen, but reminiscent of scary. Like seeing a grizzly bear stuffed and mounted on a wall.

not sure what I am going to say, but one thing is for sure, I most likely will not see someone perform "I'm Every Woman" for a change.
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