i can't even imagine how scared shitless i would be if i saw this thing approaching. it looks like something out of a movie.

i want to thank everyone for all the wonderful birthday wishes. they meant a ton to me. even though i didn't go out anywhere, i did get lots of flowers and lots of warm wishes. it was one of my best birthdays ever.

now.....take a look at what i got in the mail today. how cute.


Dear beloved,

My name is Elrahman Sariff, A Bahrain national, I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.

But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members bas well as a few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia.

Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twelve Million, six hundred thousand dollars($12,600,000,00) that I have with a finance House abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.

N/B:KINDLY NOTE THAT 20% of this funds must go to the tsunami victims and another 10% for your effort and time.

Regards,
Rahaman sarif
saviour_00@yahoo.com

I got all the pretty flowers today!

so i went out for dyngus day last night. we first went to the central terminal, but if was so incredibly cold, that we could only stand it for a half hour before freezing every extremity off. we decided to go to st. stans to continue the fun.

once there i noticed that a very cute news reporter that most of you probably know was there. so being the brave soul that i am, i walked up to him and said, "omg...youre so hot in real life" and he replied, "omg, where are you going?"

so we talked for a bit, he introduced me to his family and friends and we i was totally cheesing as to how cute this guy is. we ran into each other a few times during the night. he bought me a drink. we talked about what i do at work, about his family, yada, yada, yada. then he made me promise that i'd make sure i stopped to say bye before i left. pinky promise.

and so i did, and asked for my number and i said "oh...you want to take me out on a date?" and he was like "yeah" and i said "ok"

so then this morning i decided to google him and look him up on the news channel website, and read his bio and find out......

you ready????.......

he's married!

WTF??


what the fuck is up with that shit??


i even looked at his finger last night to check he wasnt wearing a ring (he wasnt).

whatever.

look at the size of this thing!



and the size of its teeth!!

my secret girl crush is like, debilitating. i can't go into the place where she works b/c i don't know what to do when i get there. i don't know how to speak, and i feel like i turn all 200 shades of red and my stomach turns in knots and my feet tangle under me.

(e:enknot) keeps threatening that he's going to tell, but i think he's scared of her too.

easter is around the corner. i wish i could get a week off to just sit around and play zuma.


omg, i wish i could tell you guys who we interviewed for the project coordinator position, and the story behind it. you'd never believe it. unfortunately if i want to keep my job, i have to keep my mouth shut and as (e:paul) and (e:enknot) know, i CAN do, and do it well.


nothing new with my life. well...maybe there is....but i can't advertise it here anymore. i'm doing things that i don't want to...but i almost can't help myself (no not drugs). i think spring is making me extra, extra...um....receptive ? but then i hate myself afterwards. i need a super star affair to spice up my boring existence. i had a dream the other night that i was katie holmes and i was married to tom and he was doing all kinds of mission impossible shit like running on roof tops to save me from demons who wanted to imprison me in a life of pornography.

i got asked to go up to toronto this summer with my super secret cross country friend.....i asked marvin if he'd like to babysit while i go get my freak on. (oh and in case my super secret cross country friend is reading this....it doesn't necessarily mean that we will be getting freaky in toronto, but i CAN use the idea to make certain people jealous) but then again....you never know....

i feel like i'm sweating "fuck me" scent or something these days. the pheromones are definitely turned on high.

hmm...maybe i want to be saved? by a strong, smart, assertive, grounded, and gentle man? somehow i don't think that will ever happen since all men are either scared of me or put off by me. AND because those kinds of men don't exist. why is it so hard to find that kind of combination? where are the smart sexy men, that are charming and comfortable with themselves? the guys who can talk to just about anyone and are not afraid of rejection, but are not pushy or cocky? men who can dress themselves (WELL!!!). Why are there ABSOLUTELY NO MEN WITH ANY STYLE.....ANYWHERE??????
for fucks sake, learn how to dress! stop spending your money on playstations and buy a nice suit, maybe you'll get some more damn pussy!

maybe i need to focus on women? but seriously, who wants to date such crazy monsters? they require too much upkeep and attention and are the most fickle and insecure creatures on the face of the earth.

UGHGHGGHHHHHHH......i just want to feel that thrill that i remember feeling towards boys when i was in high school. that feeling like youre just going to melt into the ground if he laid one finger on you. that feeling you felt whenever he walked anywhere near you, your hair would stand on end and your breath quickened and you lied awake for hours, replaying his every movement over and over thinking he was the most beautiful and most perfect creature that ever walked the earth. and that feeling, once he did touch you, that you were the most feminine, the most beautiful and the most vulnerable girl in the world and you were alive only to be able to feel him beside you.

for christs sake, i just want a guy to make me feel like a girl.

i need someone to have sex with. must be hot and cool and charming, but not cocky or dumb. previous applicants need not apply. gay men and women, welcome.

im so over it.