Category: rant

05/09/10 06:24 - ID#51531

Questions questions questions

WARNING: Whiny rant ahead

How does one know when to say, "No, that's enough, I've spent enough time doing this?"

I am chronically wondering if I could have tried harder, despite the futile energy it feels it is taking up. I mean really, how much is too much?

I am also driven by the concern that what if it really has not been hard enough? Physical energy can be quatitatively estimated. Emotional energy can only be evaluated qualitatively, and thereby is looked upon by others arbitrarily, and can be judged as such. I know I shouldn't be concerned what people think about that, but hello, that's me!

Worse yet, how do you know when to come back to it with a fresh mind and try again? I can't help but feel that this emotional/mental fatigue is a consequence of taking a break, and then feeling personally guilted into resuming the battle as opposed to really having cleansed the original incident from myself.

Just feeling mentally/emotionally discouraged (although physically I'm quite wiped as well, but that's another story). I'll get over it. However, I really hate feeling torn between what is enough and what isn't.

*Cross-posted over at my normal blog as well.

himay writes at 09:01:23 05/09/10 - Comment #56140: (e:paul): Then I probably got it about the way I wanted it worded. It's a handful of things in my life (work and relationships primarily) that seem to just be wearing me out, and they're all a similar situation of "do I keep working/dealing with it," or do I "just start ignoring it/them."

(e:tinypliny): Unfortunately, my subconscious assertiveness doesn't kick in until sometime after the situation has been dealt with. I've got remarkable after-the-fact reasoning and reactions, but some part of myself doesn't pull it into focus quickly enough in the situation as it's happening. I'm slowly bringing those two together, but frustration quickly sets me back; it's hard to keep my cool together when I need a quick resolve before things make themselves worse.5

tinypliny writes at 07:42:50 05/09/10 - Comment #56134: Maybe you like repairing your house, Paul? :) Maybe it's like this interest-on-the-backburner that you like but can't justify the time being spent on it and the returns that you are getting.

paul writes at 07:38:49 05/09/10 - Comment #56131: I have no idea what the focus of your issue is but I could take this entire journal word for word and be talking about trying to repair my house and it would apply perfectly.

tinypliny writes at 07:00:21 05/09/10 - Comment #56127: You should listen to the small subconscious assertive voice that definitely sounds like the right thing to do.

tinypliny writes at 06:58:39 05/09/10 - Comment #56126: hEY, your "normal" blog is looking pretty good now. :-)

Now, for some biased answers to your abnormal blog here.

Depends. If you like what you are doing and expect promising results on the horizon, chase it with more positivity. If not, just wrap it up, make the best of it, hunt for more fertile pastures.

If you feel its draining your energy, then you definitely don't like it. Stop. Reevaluate. Wrap up. Start anew.

It's hard enough when you feel out of energy - any kind of energy. Time to step away.

You can't force a fresh mind. If you feel something is promising enough, fresh ideas and way to get them will suggest themselves to you in time - because you believe in the potential of the idea.

Permalink: Questions_questions_questions.html
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Category: rant

10/15/09 09:15 - ID#50024

Tightly Wound

Sometimes I feel like I need to rip a hypothetical rod out of my ass. I get ridiculously upset with blatantly intentional reckless driving in this city. It's far from the first time I've bore witness to people sitting in a "turn only" lane, only to gun it at green to get ahead of traffic. Between that, the unwarranted running of reds and the blatant disregartd for cell phone etiquette (even by our fair police forces), I just want to lose it!

I wouldn't be so concerned in most cases, but it pushes me to the urge of wanting to yell at the offending culprit. Not only that, it makes me an unnecessarily aggressive driver. I want to run them off the road, or give them a taste of their own medicine to show them how screwed they can get.

I know some people tell me to quit being concerned with the person I want to become and simply be the person I am. This isn't exactly one of those cases where I want to exercise that.

For now, I'll just have to hope the crazy lady (I may be presumptuous in this assumption) here in the laundromat quits ranting about DNA tests so vehemontly, and I can just wind/cool down while folding my laundry once it's dry.